Reflection

I've been home just over a month now and things are pretty much back to normal.  I am back to working two days a week doing massage, have two community pilates classes starting at the beginning of October and am doing a some administration work for my friend as and when she needs a hand.  One thing I did promise myself was not to over-stretch myself and end up working too much and over too many days like I used to before I left for Riyadh.  I believe this is one of the reasons why I felt the need for a change and ended up in Saudi.  Sometimes we try and fit too many things into such a short space of time and actually forget how to enjoy things.  So for me, getting the work - life balance right was definitely one of the things I needed to address and up to yet it seems to working quite well.  I know I won't earn as much money but sometimes you just have to re-evaluate and ask yourself what your priorities are and what is important to make you happy.  The second thing I needed to address was my relationship with Steven and what we needed to do in order to make it more harmonious.....relationships are hard as we all know and unless we are prepared to work at them and give and take, they will end up failing.  So we have been trying hard to be mindful of each others needs and address things that are not working and "touch wood".....we seem to be doing pretty well.
In the first few weeks back I did have a few times where I felt quite flat and wondered if I had made the right decision in not returning in September but to be honest we all have days where we feel flat.  I know I have made the right decision, even though I miss the girls out there and I also miss that I had very little to worry about, only eating, sleeping and working but life would be pretty boring if that was all we did day in and day out.
I am really enjoying having the freedom of being able to go where I want and do what I want when it suits me.  The Muslim way of life in Riyadh is very restrictive, being a woman, prayer times, the heat but I am also very fortunate that I had a chance to experience something different and would encourage anyone if you have a dream or a desire then go and chase it and try to make it happen.
I have not written off working in another country again.  My short time in Riyadh gave me the confidence to give something a go if it was what my heart desired and life is too short to sit at home saying" I wish I had tried this or done that" even if you do it and it isn't what you expect at least you can say you have tried it and draw a line under it.
I have been doing a lot of cycling since I got back and am loving being outside, even though the weather is starting to turn and it takes a bit more effort to get out of the door, unlike when the sun is shining......the reason why I am telling you this is that I am off to the Pyrenees soon tackle a few famous cycling climbs and thought it may be an opportunity to write another blog......
So for now, life feels good, I feel like I am in the right place and being in Riyadh gave me the kick up the backside I needed to get things back on track at home.  Like they say "A change is as good as a rest" 

10 further observations

1. Saudi women are typically pear shaped
2. I can't take a man, wearing a long white dress, sandals and a tea towel on his head seriously (but Gandhi seemed to pull it off)
3. Inshallah should mean "If I can be arsed" not "God Willing"
4. Riding a bicycle with no lights on a major road (4 lanes wide) its deemed a safe mode of transport
5. So is riding on a moped with no helmet on the aforementioned road
6. There are no buses in Riyadh (public transport)
7. The muttawa are still a pain in the arse
8. True Muslims don't have tattoos (it won't allow them to enter heaven when they die if they have them)
9. Eid is a bit like our Christmas...they give money and present, eat nice food and party
10. Riyadh is built on a 600m (above sea level) rocky plateau

Final Countdown

I woke really early this morning so thought I'd take the opportunity to get the blog as up to date as possible before I go home.  I have decided to continue it for a while also when I get home as I am sure there will be things that happen to me within the first month and maybe beyond that are a consequence of me spending the last five months in Saudi Arabia.
I am not quite sure what I am feeling this morning, in fact I am not sure I am feeling anything at all.  I would say I am not really an emotional person, I don't cry a lot, I don't tend to get excited over things or too sad about things.  This is not to say that I don't have a heart or don't care but it's just how I am we all show our feelings differently. So this morning I am searching to find what my feelings are about leaving Riyadh and I can't really find any.  If you ask me what my head is saying, it is telling me "Come on girl, You are going home, get excited, jump up and down on the bed, play loud music, dance around in your underwear" but all it's saying to me is "Your going home"  As I said in my last blog I have been doing a bit of reflecting about my time here in Riyadh and as much it may all look like it has been difficult and not a great experience this is not the case.  Yes, there has been many things that have happened that wouldn't happen in England but there are also things that happen in England that would never happen here.  The lack of rules within the spa made things difficult as I know that the Spa Manager made them up as she went along and one rule for one was never the same for another and even though this didn't affect me directly, it did affect me when it upset the rest of the girls that worked in the team. Being English made me high up on the list of "don't treat her like shit" I know the country is very different to what I am used to but again, it's just rules and if you are prepared to live by them and just go with the flow, they are easy to get used to (except them closing the shops all the time for prayer...that is a pain in the arse!)and some of the rules they have should be implemented in many other countries.....I am talking mainly about crime, murder etc here.  When the fear of being executed in public hangs over you if you commit a serious crime then I guess it makes you think twice  about committing one as appose to getting to spend the rest of your life with many home comforts and being looked after by the state..they have definitely got this one right (in my opinion!!!)  I have not watched TV or read a newspaper whilst being here, no need as Facebook keeps me up to date on public opinion of what is happening in the world (well, mainly sporting event results and more recently the death of the poor little boy called Daniel...I am not going to go on here about what should happen to the mother and step father but again, in my opinion, I wished they were living in Saudi Arabia and it was Execution Day!!!)
So what has been happening in the spa this week?  Lore has left for England.  She has a course to attend and then she is heading over to Norway to stay with family before heading back to Saudi Arabia in September.  For now, she has taken the job in Al Khobar with a view to returning to Riyadh possibly in January to take a fitness position with a gym called NuYu.   We have all started packing and it seemed I had done quite well and was the only one going home with the same amount of bags that I came with, albeit it feeling 10 times heavier than when I arrived.  The other girls however, have been a little less conservative on their retail therapy and gift buying.  Kedi has paid for a carton (cargo) with a 45kg allowance (450 riyals...just under £80) to be shipped to South Africa as it is cheaper than taking it with her on the plane.  Valentina has bought an extra suitcase and will pay around £50 to British Airways.  Lore, went home with just the one suitcase but has left 3 boxes, one suitcase a mini oven and numerous other bits and pieces at a friend's house in Riyadh which she will collect when she returns in September.  May Ann is not going home to the Philippines but is hoping to take a holiday in Dammam and visit friends.
I have been paid and other than flight deductions I have been given everything that I am owed up until the 7th August.  Kedi, Val and May have not been paid from 25th July to 7th August but have been told they will receive this in the September pay run.  I was paid up to date as I am the only one that has said I am not coming back.  We have all been given our passports back and Dindo has been informed of the times he needs to take everyone to the airport.  I am the first one to leave tonight on and Val and Kedi leave tomorrow evening.
I am going to close here for now and as I said earlier, I am going to continue with my blog for a while when I get home.......So for now, I am going to do something out of the ordinary for me......jump up and down on the bed, in my underwear singing "She's coming home. She's coming home.....(thanks for that one Andrea Smith!!) and this time in 24 hours I will be home with Steven, My Girls, My Family, My Babies (cat, rabbit, guinea pig) and My Friends...but, and there is always a but, I will be leaving behind some wonderful friends that I have made but I will be taking away some wonderful memories....so thank you May Ann, Valentina, Kedi, Lore, Mysti and everyone else that I have had the pleasure of meeting and spending time with for making my experience a memorable one and I hope that I get chance to meet you all again...Inshallah
 

All Quiet and Reflection

Things with Hanan have been quiet during Ramadan.  She has started the Iqama process for Kedi and Val and other than that we have not seen her (pay day is looming so I am sure there will be some upset in someone's pay packet) she only comes in for a few hours between 12pm and 3pm.  The gym is very quiet during the first shift. We usually see the same three ladies and they only usually want to do Pilates, so that means Kedi draws the short straw.  I have taught pump a few times but when clients are fasting with no water it's not the best choice.
It is proving quite difficult to get out for groceries....only because I can't be bothered to go during our long break as I have got into a little routine of one hour by the pool and then I spend the rest of the time just catching up with people at home, getting my work at home in place, eating and generally relaxing....I have just felt so tired during Ramadan and as I have said before I am struggling to get out of bed at 11am to get ready for work.  We have a small supermarket across the street so anything I need I either go at 1am after work or I wait till Friday evening and go the bigger supermarket.....highlight of the week, a walk around the supermarket and retail therapy!!!!
I've started preparing for my return home...... and with regards to my work schedule at home, I almost feel like I have a new lease of life "A change is as good as a rest"  My massage clinic days and times have been sent to my clients.  I have sourced venues to start my fitness pilates classes in the community, I have considered and declined requests to teach in the gyms I worked in before, my new bike has arrived and Steven and I are going cycling to the Pyrenees in September (OMG....talk about run before I can walk!) and I have a trip planned with Charlotte, Hannah and my mum six days after I get home.  Steven is taking some time off when I get back so we can have some quality time together (it feels like we are starting again).....I feel raring to go.  Maybe I should work away for five months every year if it does this to me.

Reflection

You know when you make a decision to do something and even though it seems like the right one? doubts still keep creeping in to make you question the decision you have made?  Well today has felt a little like that.  Even though everything is falling almost too perfectly into place at home.  I still question it so let's weigh it up:

I have a beautiful family, my girls and Steven
I have a lovely home
I have work in place to support me
I have lovely friends
I am free to chose what I do and when I do it (no abaya, even though I actually quite like it)
I have my health
I can run, cycle, jump, skip all outdoors without melting in the heat or being arrested and much much more that will take to long to list......so why am I even questioning my decision?

What I have here:

Sunshine everyday (albeit a little too hot)
Tax free salary (nice)
Shared accommodation (not as bad as you think)
I get to sit by a beautiful pool all to myself on a Friday (this is the bit that I think I'm wanting to keep)
I have lovely friends (I do at home as well)
I only have to worry about waking up, eating and working (I think I'm being a bit selfish here!)
I have to work 48 hours a week over 6 days (too much)
I get one holiday a year, all thirty days have to be taken in August (not ideal!!) as I don't get home for Christmas or anything else that doesn't happen in August for that matter

The more I write the more I know even questioning my decision is wrong.  I am just hoping that it doesn't take me too long to settle when I get home and who knows?  I may come back to visit the friends I have made (if I can get a sponsor, as you can't enter the country without one).  I do feel happy with what I have and I feel privileged  to have been able to do something different.  No doubt I will want to experience something else that takes me out of my comfort zone.......at least I will have story to tell my grandchildren, when/if I get any.
 

Birthday

Wednesday 17th July

Am I really 46?!!!! (not till the 21st) I don't think I feel it, even though I am not really sure what 46 is meant to feel like.  The only signs are when I look in the mirror and see lines and the grey hair but I manage to keep the latter under control....NICE AND EASY!!!
It's Wednesday 17th July and Val and I are invited to Fahl compound to meet Fadi and Miguel for lunch during our 5 hour break (3pm to 8pm).  Lunch! yes, I know its Ramadan and eating is not allowed until 6.45pm...you can even be arrested if you are seen chewing gum but within the confines of your home, in the compound etc as long as you are a non-muslim you can eat during fasting hours. Fahl compound is full to bursting with non-muslims so eating is allowed.  Fadi informed me that men cannot even have sex with their wives during these hours...... he never said they couldn't have sex with anyone else's wife though....joke!!!
The meal we have was typically Arabic/Lebanese and very nice.  I have been pretty adventurous with food whilst being here and have tried many different types of cuisine (Steven won't believe this bit as he thinks I can only survive on chocolate!!).  Then to my surprise, Val has been plotting secretly, I am presented with a birthday cake and gifts.  I was not expecting this, I thought we were just going for lunch....I am overwhelmed.  The guys have been so kind to us since we have been here.  I suddenly feel a tinge of sadness that I am not going to see them again.  Its amazing how quickly in just four months I have a new life, new friends and new experiences, all of which I won't forget.  I am hoping that we will keep in touch and who knows one day meet again.

Friday 19th July

The weather has been very windy and dusty again today to the point that we all have sore eyes. Many Saudi's suffer from respiratory problems due to the weather.   There is sand everywhere, even the pool is full of sand.  It's definitely not the kind of weather you want to sit out in unless you want to look like a sandcastle!!  I spent most of my day off, cleaning and resisting the urge to start packing my bags for my return home.  Three weeks prior to departure is way to early.  Tonight we are going to TGI Fridays, Kedi, May and myself.  Val wasn't feeling up to it and Lore had already paid for a ticket (200 riyals) to go to a compound party.  I still refuse to pay to go to one of these parties as the ones I have attended have been totally rubbish.  Anyway, we arrange to go out at 6.45pm just after the fourth prayer (you can eat at this time as it symbolises the end of the fast) and before the fifth prayer at 8.30pm.  All restaurants are closed during fasting time during Ramadan.
We have a lovely evening , the food is great and we finish it off with a trip to the shopping mall for a little retail therapy.  The only thing that spoils it is the bloody mutawa following you and telling you to cover your hair "Woman!!! cover your hair"  They even follow you into shops and harass you.

Friday 21st July

12am (I hour to go at work) and the girls surprise me with a birthday cake and the "Happy Birthday" song.  I feel very lucky.  I am going to miss these girls.  I know I say it a lot but I have spent the last four months with them, morning, noon and night.....Steven calls me to wish me happy birthday and I sleep feeling happy.

6pm....still on the 21st I speak with my mum, Charlotte and Hannah and some friends.  I may be 4000 miles away but I feel very close to everyone.  It is true when they say people can feel lonely even when they are in a relationship or have their family and friends close to them but for me right now I don't feel lonely I feel in a good place with myself, my feeling and my emotions.  I am ready to go home to see everyone and I know it's going to take a while to adjust but I feel ready.

Let me get you up to date with Lore before I go.  She is still in the accommodation waiting to fly back to England on the 2nd August.  She still has not been given an exit visa or her passport.  She has been offered the job starting in September in Al Khobar but has also been a very busy girl researching gyms and spas in Riyadh, sending her CV and attending interviews.  On the up shot of this she has been offered two more jobs and is also waiting on the response of a third.  So she has options.  The salaries and packages offered at the other spas are pretty much the same as here but on the plus side, they don't have Hanan for a manager.  Lore said they appeared to be very different and one of the companies had an English Manager.  She did say that when she told them her reasons for leaving Yibreen Spa, they were appalled at what had been happening . So whatever happens, Lore is coming back to Riyadh in september (when she has decided which offer she will accept).  She should feel proud of herself because even when the chips were down she never gave in.  She told me that if I felt I wanted to return that I would easily get a job at any of the spas or gyms in Riyadh (they love English Instructor) as now they were replacing all freelance instructors and employing full timers due to the iqama situation.  For now I just want to go home but I know the door is open for me if I want to come back.  You can only plan what happens in your life to a certain extent.....like what time you get up and what you eat for lunch but the rest of it....well!!!! so just try and live it and enjoy!! 

 

Ten Observations

1. Everywhere you go in Riyadh involves a U turn
2. Muttawa are a pain in the arse
3. Three kisses on one cheek is an acceptable greeting
4. You can't kiss a man in public.....unless you are another man
5. Eating, drinking and sex are not allowed during fasting hours
6. Riyadh is just busy roads full of restaurants and shopping malls
7. Dreary in Saudi means its still boiling hot but you can't see the sun for dust
8. Taxi Drivers haven't got a clue where anything is
9. Panda is a chain of supermarkets
10. Ghada, Wafa, Zana and Johara are very common women's names

Water Man

Water and Riyadh don't seem to go together but today's water saga was a little bit different to the previous ones.
Val and I were getting ready to go to meet some friends for lunch at Fahl compound.......  I know it was a work day but during Ramadam we get a five hour break before shift two and as much as it sounds lovely.....it has put a huge strain on all the instructors, we have all been exhausted and some nights not getting to sleep till around 4am.  I have even managed to over lay on one occasion......start time at 12pm and the girls ring me at 12.20pm to see if I was ok....that's how tired I feel.....Anyway back to the water story.
I hear Val talking to someone in the living area and don't recognise the voice but do recognise it is that of an Indian Man.  Val calls me and I go out to see what she needs......who is this strange man and how did he get into the accommodation?  The only time we see a man in our accommodation is when he comes to fix the air conditioning (quite often) and he is always accompanied by two cleaning ladies.  So the strange Indian man in our accommodation starts to become slightly worrying.  It appears that the strange man has got through security to see if we need to buy some water (we buy large bottles to save us carrying it from the supermarket).  The man is trying to hold Val's hand and then he tries to pull her towards him to, what looks like, kiss her on the cheek.  Val quickly pulls away and looks grateful that I have appeared.  I tell the man to get us two bottles of water and Val goes off to her room to get some money.  When the man returns he then attempts to take me by the hand and then proceeds to tell me he loves me......His age, around 55, his ethnicity, Indian, his height, around 5ft 5", his smell, definitely Putrid!!!!! with a capital P.  I give him the money and ask him politely to leave but at this point he is pretending that he doesn't understand a word I am saying.  He uses hand gestures which suggest he would like a drink of water so I respond with hand gestures comprising of two fingers that suggest he best leave and then point towards the door.  He decides it is not time to leave and starts to head toward Valentina's room......now I raise my voice a little and suggest he leaves before I give him a kick in the nuts!!!
Val appears a little shell shocked by what has just happened as she was the first to encounter him and was praying that I heard her call me when he tried to kiss her.  We decide to mention this to the security guard on our way out and he immediately picks up the phone and calls the Indian Water Delivery Man.  The security guard is shouting and it appears that he is telling the water man not to do this again.  I am just thankful that Val nor I were alone in the accommodation as who knows what would have occurred.
We were informed that we could have reported said man to the police firstly because it was Ramadam and any sexual intentions towards women are definitely not allowed and this would have made his punishment ten fold and secondly he could have been charged with harassment.
So we have drinking water in our accommodation albeit it a little eventful, the accommodation smells rancid but the lesson learnt for today is if they are 5ft 5" their nuts are well in range of a size 5 shoe!!